Romance is complicated on the island of Aneityum. It certainly does not resemble any of the notions we hold in the Western World. This is a story of John, my best friend on Aneityum, and how he came to marry his wife Eunice.
(John, Eunice & children)
Before John married or even pursued Eunice, he had another girlfriend. He was not "dating" this woman, as there is no "dating" in rural Vanuatu. (Where would you go on a date?) Instead, John probably initiated their relationship by expressing his interest and joking with her. They most likely had to sneak off away from the village to meet, away from the prying eyes of other locals. Finding that they shared a mutual attraction, they completely by-passed "dating." Their relationship became quite serious almost over night. She moved into his home and began helping with house work and chores, while he played the traditional role of the man and secured their food and money.
John wanted to marry this woman, but the woman's family did not approve. One day they came to the house and demanded that she leave. Families wield an extraordinary amount of power when it comes to approving or rejecting relationships. (This is often why young people choose to hide their significant others for as long as possible). Upset, John left the island and worked in the capital city, Port Vila for a couple of years.
After living in town, John was eager to return to Aneityum and lead a simpler life. He moved back to the island and soon a woman named Eunice caught his eye. Eunice was two years older than John, around 24 years old. She had a 2 year old son with a previous boyfriend, who had since abandoned her and taken up with another local woman.
John's friends could not understand why he wanted to pursue Eunice, as she was older and already had a child. He ignored them. He was attracted to Eunice, liked her personality and observed that she was a "very hard worker." She enjoyed spending lots of time working in the garden, a trait John valued in her. John admits that he is a bit of a "lazy man," and if he married a lazy woman, his family would surely starve to death. Thus he began his courtship with Eunice.
John practiced "creeping," the Ni-Vanuatu practice of sneaking out at night to visit a woman in secret. Their secretive relationship blossomed over time, until Eunice's family discovered what was taking place. Eunice's father and brothers did not approve of John. They ordered him to end all contact with Eunice.
John believes that her they did not want Eunice to marry him because they were using her as an indentured servant. She provided a lot of help to the family in the garden, cooking and with other chores- so they did not want to lose a valuable worker! The family claimed that Eunice was promised to another man, following kastom practice on the island.
Having already lost a possible mate through a family's disapproval, John was determined this time around. He was summoned to a chiefly council where he was strictly forbidden from even talking to Eunice. John told them all that he agreed with their decision and they all drank kava together to settle the issue.
That very same night, John crept over to Eunice's house and snuck out to the gardens with her.
The family soon became aware that the relationship had not ended. Eunice's father and brothers were furious. They came for John with machetes and axes.
John saw the armed ambush approaching him and darted off through the bush. They chased him over a lengthy distance and eventually started gaining ground on him. To avoid being caught and harmed, John sprinted blindly through a very dense thicket of bush to try to lose his pursuers. While darting through the tropical forest, John fell over a small cliff, which he did not observe because of the vegetation and his quick pace.
He fell around 10 feet, but landed on awkwardly top of some saplings and felt a sharp, stabbing pain in his neck. A narrow tree branch had poked through his neck, right in the jugular.
He covered his neck to stop the bleeding and was able to hide in the bush from the family. He was badly injured though and feared for his life. He met some other locals and sent for Eunice, who met with him in the bush and gave him local kastom medicine. She brought food to him and helped him to find a better location to hide.
John suffered through fever and mild infection, but was able to heal through the local medicine that was administered. He did not return to his home for weeks, as he knew the family would be waiting to approach him. Instead, he slept outdoors in the bush, changing locations constantly to avoid detection.
Anyhow, it is a wild story and entertaining to hear first-hand from John. Eventually he married Eunice and the family begrudgingly accepted John. John laughs about the fact that his father-in-law visits them often and sleeps at their house now. "And to think he ran after me with an axe once!"
Anyhow, sorry I have not been actively posting... will try to change that over the next 4 or 5 weeks before I return to my remote island home.)
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